It would be wonderful if I could look at a garden of light blue hydrangea. It would be beautiful if I could see them for hours and hours and not being weathered. It would be gracious to smell very soft, almost scentless hydrangeas very much closely to my nose. It would be impressive to shake softly their heads with my right hand.

Wanting to keep them near. Wanting to see them long.

Wanting to touch them while they have no anger against anything.

We are starting a new church. I am very excited to be the one. I am very thrilled to be the first generation.

We had meeting whole day today. We shared our vision, burden, interests, and strengths. It’s not a worship place. It’s not a Sabbath social gathering. This time, it is real CHURCH!

What’s up with striking a bell?  Someday soon, when we get the latter rain spirit, the whole Korea will change.

This time, they will crazy for Jesus.

We had 8 girls and 3 boys in my group. I asked one guy to take care of the other two guys. And I was thinking myself how should I devide the group. Some suggested to make pairs, but I just decided to wash all of them.

It was very much memorable monent to wash so many people at the same time. I prayed for their friends, family, study, life, and salvation. Not everyone was serious Christian, but all people were touched, and cried.

I shared a short message how Jesus showed humiliation in front of his disciples. Who do you think Jesus washed the longest? Possibly Judas Iscariot. Jesus talked to him one more last time. It’s not over yet. Please come back to me. We can fix this togethr. I still love you.

We all heard that voice from Jesus. It was such a beautiful moment.

When I was in Michigan, I wanted to invite J in Korea very very much. I was thinking 2011 summer, but even better we got to invite him this year winter. I don’t know what did I do, but I’ve prayed a lot before I put into practice anything. And I listend so much of his sermon. haha this is pretty funny, but I just thought it would be good for me  to know his style so that I can help as much as I can. (in terms of translation stuff)

I’ve talked to several pastors, convinced them boldly. I have started to advertise even before school gave me permission. When school permitted, I got a bit worried. I was so much worried like “who will be translator, he speaks so fast, he uses all the not understandable American expressions, what if people don’t like him, what’s the point of bringing him all the way from America?” Honestly, I think I prayed so much so that I don’t get blame. I prayed so hard that every students’ life can change. I prayed that Holy Spirit can bless with gift of tongue.  I prayed God can just tear everyone’s heart and come in.

God blessed the speaker so much. He blessed the translator. He blessed all the students and me. God blessed the camp meeting so much. It was truly the most blessing and life changing camp meeting ever in my life.

God, thank you so much. I don’t know why God loves me so much… it’s just amzaing. I don’t know why God loves me so much. I mean it’s great!

I was very very joyful to see JK. How much will I be more joyful to see God?! I can’t wait to see Him.

My friend(I can call her my friend now) who is very very passionate Christain, she also has weakness. She is a type of person who wants to preach the gospel in the bus. She is crazy with preaching the gospel. I can say that she is really crazy for Jesus. She reads a lot of spiritual books. She has more knowledge than average pastors.

But she is obsessed with beauty. She thinks there should be no one more beautiful than her. She even gets mad at celebrities haha. She got jealous of everyone including me because I was close with some guy who she is obsessed with. She argues with people. I was very shocked to see these things. And I looked at myself.

I put on mask of Christain, I am spraying perfume of missionary, and I have so much dirt and sin inside me. I was quite scared others to realize my sin and hiding tightly. I was reliving  myself thinking that I am not like her that I am not hypocracy. haha but I am even worse!

I confess my weakness to God, and I asked God to mold me in His way. I ask God to chage me everyday. I don’t know if I changed daily, but I, I am definatly changed. I pray one day, before Jesus comes, I can be clean and white as snow.

I was wondered when I first read this verse. I just though “ok it makes sense because you are David”. I never even think about this verse. It’s quite shame, and I can say whatever now because I am not in US anymore and my Korean friends don’t bother to read my blogs which is written in English. I had read Bible without thinking so often. I refused to think, and I refused to pray also. I was very proud. I had hard time making devotional time every morning.

But I remember one of the MTP days, the holy Spirit talked to me. It was very strong voice. I was very shocked, and I woke up. That is so true that I can’t do anything without power of God. What can I do in this dangerous world without protection of God. What will I do in the last days? If I don’t know the Bible now, I wouldn’t be able to preach the gospel. Now, Today, He spoke me very strongly that communication with God is the most important thing. I can never compromise that.

Today, when  I am under the wing of God, I have to be prepared. Salvation today is the most important thing. When I can read Bible, I have to read as much as I can. Before something happens, I have to make my non compromisable principles.

God’s Words is so~ sweet. It is so sweet that I can’t compare anything with God’s Word. Think that these words are directly from God. Think that these words are all from the mouth of God which created the whole world. Just like God created the whole world, God wants to create me daily.

When I study the Word, I become the happiest person in the world. When I preach the gospel, I become the brightest person in the world. I’ve been pondering to find my favorite work. And I’ve found it; the very thing I love, the very thing I want to study more and more, the most heart beating work ever in my life! That is taste Thy Words.

I have big burden for her, and I kept trying to approach her. But it was very difficult. I couldn’t admit myself that I don’t love her enough. I was tired of taking care of her. She is really a poor girl. She has no parents, she can’t walk, and she didn’t know God. I didn’t like the way she talks, the way she asks me favor, the way to look at me. We’ve lived for a year now, and I don’t even know why I am living with her. I wasn’t even close to her.

I know how much she struggles, how much she is alone, how much she wants to be loved, and how much she needs God. I have started to think that I should tell her God. But what can I do? I am not even close to her. I maybe just live with her because she has no other friends. I don’t know what am I doing. I prayed hard to God. I was very much sick of my dirty heart. I said my prayer so that I can love her, so that I can introduce God to her.

This past semester, I’ve realized how much she changed. The very first night, starting this semester, I prayed with two of my roommates. I prayed hard for my roommates. For whole semester I prayed for them. I teach everything I know and everything I learned from CAMPUS. I invite them everywhere; church, Bible study, camp meetings, etc.

Now I am so happy that my roommate is watching korean 3ABN and really enjoy it. She comes to church regularly, and she listens sermon in the room. I am so glad that I can’t stop looking at her. And I have realized all of sudden that I LOVE her

Also, the other roommate who is faithful Christian wants to go CAMPUS. I never insisted someone to go CAMPUS. But I do love her so much, and I see her amazing potential. I want her to be a great missionary who can do really big thing for the glory of God.

I am very happy to finish the semester which is the last semester as undergrad very well. I want to hear the word “well done Yoomi” from God. oh God, I love you~!

If you press the botton, you would get some food.                                                                                                                                         At the same time, you are inflicting electronicalimpulse to the  other.

Whether to press the botton or not? What is the “choice” of red hair monkey?

And 1961, America,  an advertisement,                                                                                                                                                   “receive applications who would do teacher role for the experiment about memory”

40 applicants, in their 20s ~ 50s, normal people,

The very first thing they saw was electronicshock weapon;                                                                                                                      the electronic shock weapon with 30 buttons from 15V to 450V

“When the student over the screen can’t get the answer, inflict electronic shock”

The reward for that; $4.5

“There might be at most 0.1% who can inflict 450V to the student” – expectation form the experiment sponsor

There are three groups of people in the lab; director, a teacher who would press the button, and a student

Whenever they got the wrong answer, the degree of the electricity goes up 15V higher.

15V

60V

90V

150V

“I can’t do it anymore” He refuses to press the button.

However, there is stern voice and the director with white gown.                                                                                                      “Continue teacher, please. Come on. Continue teacher, please.”

300V

Even the sound of kicking the wall has gone, and there is only silence left.                                                                                    “What are you going to do if he get heart attack? I can’t do it anymore”                                                                                       “Don’t worry. He will never die” “And I will take care of everything”

Before the experiment, one survey from Yale University,                                                                                                                         “Can you inflict any dehumanize action?”                                                                                                                                                            “If you are in the situation which has no choice, would you be able to inflict any dehumanize action?”

->  No 92%

-> There might be at most 0.1% who can inflict 450V to the student

0.1   %-> 65% It was 65%.

65% say                                                                                                                                                                                                                               “How did I possibly do a cruel thing?”                                                                                                                                                                   “I can’t understand myself”                                                                                                                                                                                        “I did what they asked me to do”

 The name of the experiment; Obedience

The Stanley Milgram, the designer of this experiment, tells the purpose of it.

“I wanted to know”                                                                                                                                                                                                          “Why people obey even dehumanize order blindly”                                                                                                                                   “Why they can’t refuse the order of the authority which is not just.”                                                                                                   “Why normal people commit terrible a large massacre”

“I really wanted to know”

If I choose the food, the other will suffer; a turning point of the choice                                                                                                The red hair money hasn’t pressed the button for the 15 days, and he couldn’t get food for 15 days.                                        There is no one beside the monkey who let him ignore the suffering of the other.

There is only one way subject of the experiment can resist the order of the director: That is to sever the relation with the authority who orders absurdly. – Stanley Milgram

35% of the subject refused experiment of 300V.

He said the reason North Korea is not collapsed yet, unlike other  Communist countries, is because they secure clothes, food, and land.

There are three different target; authority class, knowlege class, and low class which is majority. We need to know who our target is.

When he went to North Korea, people didn’t even look at him and ignored him. But they saw his group is praying before they start work. And one person talked them “you are God’s apostles”.

I am wondering if we can solve our bloody grudge between North and South. There should be something to tie us together. That’s “God’s apostles”.

North Korea, they have strong aim of their politic. NK is religious country. The first law of their country is “Do not serve others but the chief”. They havce all differnt religios ideology combined together and made their Communism. They have Confucious traditions + Christianism + Islam administration + Japn soverignity.

In Korea, we have amazing potential power. We showed wild enthusiasm over the soccer. And it will be amazing when we get enthusiasm over God.